Woody’s newest film, featuring his obsession du jour Scarlett Johansson, is a disconcerting view about society’s influence on how we deal with our desires. Allen delves into the social psyches of straitlaced, conventional Vicky who wants “love” and 2.5 kids and a house in a desirably affluent neighborhood with her financially successful fiancé. Cristina (Johansson) is a free spirit artist looking for something, she’s not exactly sure what, but definitely something less run-of-the-mill than your typical “American dream.” Allen’s question to us is: who, if anyone, is right? And of course as we learned in our college English classes, with an essay question, there’s essentially no right OR wrong answer, just well researched arguments.

Does anyone really get a happily ever after?? VCB leaves this up to us to answer but essentially paints a very grim picture. Should we want the expected and settle into a comfortable life where we may live to wonder constantly: what if? But what happens when fears hold you back and you become too afraid to change once we’re set in our ways? Or should we live each day as a life unto itself, living for the moment, so that each new dawn brings with it eternal optimism? But even behind our rose colored Raybans and our anything-goes smile, wouldn’t doubt about our decisions eventually arise? Would we live to regret some one night stand or horrible choice in our carefree life? Mais oui, bien sur! After all, we are human and we can’t quite have it all! So we do what we can and find a balance somewhere between settling and not conforming. We learn to choose between what we truly want and what society has trained us to want – no easy feat. Some of us succumb to the pressures of work, religion, cultural tradition and social norms and adapt our lives so that there is some semblance of normalcy. While others will pick and choose non-comformist acts as if building a meal at a Sizzler buffet. And neither party is right or wrong so long as it works for the individual. Who are we to judge, right?

As a gay man, I had no choice genetically as to whether I would like men or women. What I did have was a choice to suppress an innate preference in order to adhere to the generally accepted socio-religious norm of heterosexuality. I chose to go my own way (as Fleetwood Mac sang) and have never regretted my choice. Fortunately, I’ve had great support from my friends and family (except for that meeting with a Catholic priest that was a total failure after which my parents gave up on the idea of Anne Heche-ing me back to heterosexuality and realized that they would have to accept me as is). But to drive the point home to a wider audience, we all grapple with different issues like what career we are expected to follow versus doing what we really love to do. I still wonder sometimes if I made the right choice in forgoing a prestigious career in the legal field preferring instead to dress people in luxury for a living. Right or wrong, short term mistake or career blunder, it’s what I enjoy doing and luckily I make a fine living. I’m 28 years old and though I don’t own anything but a closet stuffed with designer threads, I have time to fall on my face and pick myself back up if life so demands. Whatever mistakes we’ve made, we can’t really undo; so I say the only thing to do is move on. I find it really enlightening that members of Alcoholics Anonymous recite the Serenity prayer. It’s truly a wise principle to live by: to be aware of the difference between things we can change and situations beyond our control. Maybe life is about finding happily ever afters in the small details rather than always focusing on the bigger picture.

Not really sure, how my critique of VCB spiraled into this, but it’s what came out. Enjoy it or not, it’s beyond my control.

August 26, 2008