Who among us hasn't walked into a grocery store hungry as hell and bought up all kinds of crazy things??  This guy right here is way guilty right now. 
Tonight, I stopped into D'Agostino on my way home from the gym.  I had a plan to buy some vegetables to munch on at home — you know, keep it light and healthy.  You see, I'm one of those New Yorkers who eats out every night.  But recently I've been trying to be financially responsible by having a few meals at home rather than dishing out $60 for dinner alone.  My recent suppers chez moi have consisted of almonds, golden raisins and either an apple or pear.  If I was feeling fancy, I'd throw some gorgonzola piccante on my fruit snack.  
I arrived at D'Ag with just five minutes to spare before closing time and made a beeline for the produce department to pick up a packet of celery and carrots.  Who am I kidding? I'm not eating this shit, I thought.  I snatched up a bag of pretzels chips and decided I'd spread some hummus on then.  On my way to get the hummus, I spied a block of Jarlsberg.  And then in the dairy section I couldn't resist the Greek yogurt with honey.  Ohhhhh and Greek yogurt with peaches too! Sweet, I took three.  Then the warning: "Attention shoppers, D'Agostino will be closing in four minutes.  Please bring your final purchases to the front now.  Thank you and have a good evening."  Pressure and an empty stomach make for a disastrous grocery visit.  I rushed to get the hummus and found like sixteen different flavor and brand combinations.  Dammit, why are there so many choices?!?   OK, spinach and artichoke hummus sounded like an exciting adventure.  Go! I was almost home free when out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of the frozen treats section.  I have absolutely no will power when it comes to the icy, fruity goodness of sorbet.  I chose two pints of Ciao Bella: blood orange sorbet and key lime graham gelato.  And in honor of my Pinkberry obsession, a pint of Haagen Dazs tart natural flavor frozen yogurt. Done and done!
I dropped my 10 items or less on the conveyor while I waited for the guy ahead of me to pay.  As my eyes wandered impatiently, I picked up a can of Coca Cola Cherry Zero (WTF?!).  Then a Butterfinger bar (OK, drop the king size bar and no one gets hurt) and a Snickers bar.  Alright fat ass, time to go! Grand total: 12 items $41.70
As I sit here typing, I've chugged the cherry Coke, had a few slices of Jarlsberg, some hummus coated pretzel chips, wolfed down the Butterfinger, savored the blood orange gelato, cooled down with the last strawberry fruit bar (a remnant of that 80 degree weekend earlier this month) and am now slicing up a pear.  Am I full yet, you ask? .... Not quite.  And I'm already looking forward to dinner with Viki at Bond St tomorrow night.